see you when i see you!

because, why?
i am a freaking lazy pig
who wouldnt
work her ass off during holidays
unlike you people.

because, why?
i am a mummy’s girl
who doesnt get allowances during holiday
who still have to depend on her parents.
that’s why.

you think i like to depend on my parents?
you dont know how much
i cant wait to repay all the money
they invested on me.

you know something?
ive always dreamed of being born rich
like i dont need to work my ass off to earn money
like i am living off my parents’ hardwork
wouldnt it be awesome?
but then again,
i wouldnt be able to experience
the joy of
getting allowances at the beginning of every week
or i wouldnt be able to experience
the pain of
trying to scrimp and save
to get something that i really want
oh the joy of it all.

or rather,
i wouldnt know what life is all about
i wouldnt even have a life to begin with.

so, i thank god for letting me born in
an average family who is neither rich nor poor
because when you come to think of it,

if you think you are poor,
there are people out there who
dont even have food to eat

and if you think you are rich,
there are people out there who are rich
but dont even boast around about it
in fact they might be wondering
why they are born rich in the first place
like how i am ranting about
why i am not born rich down here.

oh what am i talking about now?
i love how i play with words
twisting and turning around the same thing
so much so that people feel what i write
is forever vague and meaningless, yes?

and no, i am not directing this post to anyone,
just what ive been thinking about currently
or rather, take it that im talking to myself all along
welll, just in case someone decided to
rebut on everything i just typed
which is utter rubbish
and
mega
redundant.

this is hilarious man!
and sooo cuteeee(!)
i want a baby too,
pretty please with a cherry on top?

F once asked me,
“So, what are you afraid of?”
and i said,
“Im afraid of almost everything,
heights
ghosts
darkness
you name it.”
and then F said,
“See, it’s because you are afraid to try new things, that’s why”.

and then i thought,
for once someone managed to knock some sense into me
cuz i felt like ive been afraid since forever
like fear has been living inside of me
and there is no way to kill it
cuz killing it means killing yours truly.

take what happened just now;
i saw a Ronald Macdonald clown while walking at Sunplaza
and i had to hide behind my brother
cuz i have yet to overcome my fear of clowns.

and Mother had to say,
“Daripada dulu takut sangat dengan clowns”
(Since young, you’ve been afraid of clowns)
ha!

so, now i feel like doing something crazy
like riding on a rollercoaster
like riding the skyride
like going to the top of Eiffel Tower and
screaming out loud
saying I am no longer someone who is afraid of heights.

like going into the darkest room
like going into the Haunted Room
meeting all kinds of ghost and say,
“Hi, pleasure to meet you”.

so F, will i still be so full of fears after
trying out all these new things?
answer me when you manage to find my blog through Google okay?
best!

too many times
i let people trust me too much
that i ended up scared that
i lose their trust.

because trust is a huge thing
and definitely more than a five letter word
and i am sick of getting lied at
by someone whom i wouldnt
think would even lie to begin with
and then pretend nothing happened.

its like it follows me wherever i go,
no matter how much i try to avoid.
its like its a one way ticket and no turning back.
its like i dont want you to trust me too much
but i still want you to trust me.

trust is definitely not a child’s play to me,
cuz once you lie to me
dont expect me to trust you ever again,
really.

muahahaha,
im sure you missed me too much
so i decided that picture-of-the-day(POTD)
would be my very own picture instead.
awesome or whaaaat.

anyhooo, LTC was awesome(!)
(for a lack of an awesome-r word)
awesome, cuz i met alot of awesome people
who taught me awesome lessons in life
eventho i just got to know them
for only three awesome days.

i would give anything to go through
it again, nevermind that i have to be
a zombie of sleeplessness
a medic who plays a part to save lives
a secretary who writes minutes as fast as a typewriter.

i really dont,
as long as i get to relive the moments
and be with reaaaally awesome bunch of people.

love you all!
♥♥♥

what’s more, im a computer-idiot
unlike my awesome it-geek big brother
who is in, sighhh,  camp
so, it doesnt help that everyone
was asking me what happened
when i dont even know

i was being a wonderwoman
this morning and i tried plugging in
the wireless line and it worked(!)
and so, i managed to go online
chatted with R for ten seconds or so
blogged
facebooked
yeh, the usuals

then suddenly grandmama told me
to accompany her get a new house phone
so yeah, as filial as i am, i followed her
all the waaaay
but the salesperson was being
as irritating as he is
you know, sometimes its hard to talk to
someone who doesnt know any better than you?
ahhhhh, thats how it was.

but mother was the real wonderwoman
when she called the Singtel helpdesk
and found out that
surprise, surprise,
the problems lies in the wireless connection
and, not the phone!

awesoooomeee.

so, how the hell did i
manage to go online in the morning?
euuuhhhh, dont ask me,
told ya im a computer-mega-idiot,
and dearest big brother,
now you know just how important you are
in times of crisis like this!

ooohkaaay, by the time you read this
you’ll be the last to know about
what actually happened
ha!

how cute!<3 <3 <3
(read: i wanna get one of those black-framed-geekish specs too!)

i am almost officially off geek mode
as soon as thursday comes
cuz it marks my last paper
and camp the following day!

i am so sexcited(!)
cuz its the first camp im organising together
with my awesome bunch of people
for the school.

awesomeeee.

as for now, no hot gossips
for me to lay it out here,
now back to geek mode!

B) B) B)

“Cancer invade and spread to other tissues. When too many body cells are affected, the person dies.”

ahhhh, why do i see Cancer
everywhere i read?

carcinogen
carcinogenic
carcinogenesis
cancerous
cancer
cancer
cancer

; they all mean the same thing,
death in the easiest way.

i need to get it out of my head
and freaking concentrate,
well at least for now
and we can talk about later, later.

yes, you.

i still dont get why
it kills for you to tell me that youre single
like you’d die if you tell me so
or like i wouldnt talk to you if you are.

i mean, come on,
i can tell people that ive been single
for almost two years now
(or rather, my whole life)
and not feel pressurized by it
like, omg, they are all younger than me
and they have boyfriends
when i am turning 18,
but i dont even have one.

i even can feel good about it
cuz i know very well that
ive got my girls with me
when im at my high and low moments.

but boys?
i really dont need them at the moment
cuz why do i need boys when ive got my babes?
<3 <3 <3

and did i mention?
i hate liars and you,
are officially blacklisted,
thank you

ahhhhh,
why am i even blogging about this?
i should be counting the
probability of being in a relationship
with *coughcough*
or counting the number of liar cells in that liar
or the biochemistry of what happens
when one dies
or something examinable.

okbye!